By Celeste Duffie
Editor’s note: The opinions expressed here are those of the authors. View more opinion on ScoonTV.
“Papa was a rolling stone / Wherever he laid his hat was his home / And when he died, all he left us was alone.” – The Temptations
In case you haven’t heard, Nick Cannon recently revealed his difficulty parenting 11 children between six women.
Nick opened-up in an episode of The Checkup podcast with Dr. David Agus. He said he is not the kind of father he would like to be. To paraphrase, he stated he feels guilty for not spending quality time with his children.
I wrote in my book that “family is a system of advocacy for the smooth transition of children from adolescence to adulthood and a unit of protection from external changes in social and political systems.”
Given this, what was Nick thinking? A house or multiple houses built on quicksand cannot stand. The ability to be a good father is based on how a man constructs his family. It always has been that way and always will be.
A simpler time
Maybe a look back can provide answers to Nick’s current challenges. First, I assume Nick believes the big lie. It might have been best expressed in the song made famous by Cindy Lauper, “Money changes everything.”
While money can overcome some societal deficits, it alone is not enough. The adherence to the belief that money can mitigate all challenges a child will face is, well, stupid!
This is what distinguishes us from other mammals. Human survival requires more than instinct. It involves strategy and structure.
Since man has been able to walk upright – shout out to Homo erectus – man has had to dominate the ever-changing environment presented to him.
Failure to do so would mean death. This means man must leverage his brain and body to manipulate the environment to his advantage, or die.
Trust the science
Nature dictates that humans have a biological imperative to live. In 1995, Italian scientists came up with a physiological theory called mirror neurons.
Mirror neurons are brain cells responding equally when we perform an action and witness someone else perform the same action. The theory says you learn to use your biological equipment by watching people who share the same physiological equipment.
Nature cannot compete with nurture
Most academics teach that societal systems play an outsized role in the development of a person.
They believe that manipulation and control of these systems can nurture a person into who these systems would like them to become. Admittedly, social constructs of cultural and other systems do play an important role in human development.
However, it is no match for the biological power of nature. I became aware of this when I was 15 when I spent a weekend with a friend who was raised apart from her sister. I noticed that they both discarded cigarette ash with their thumbs, not with their forefingers. I knew then that nature was kicking nurture’s ass!
Biology cannot be beat
In a world where Marc Lamont Hill says “some men can get pregnant” and Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson cannot define a woman, is more than unsettling.
Suddenly, biology is a quagmire. Especially for those who obfuscate the truth. Apparently, when no one was looking, the truth of human biology was hidden from the public and is reserved to strengthen the families of the elites.
Elites know that it is not ideal to raise children away from their biological parents. Some argue that substitutes do not work as well. However loving and well-meaning the non-biological parents may be, their biological equipment is incongruent. This presents parental challenges.
What is the job of children?
The primary responsibility of children is to grow up to become adults. It is an evolutionary requirement. As adults, they must function to protect and advance the society to which they were born.
As such, children raised from their biological parents are put in the impossible position to imitate things their physiology cannot accommodate.
This can frustrate the parenting process. Transitioning a child into adulthood is not easy. An absent or not reliably present parent, like Nick Cannon, creates angst in the normal development process.
What to make of Nick Cannon’s story?
Fathers who infrequently parent cannot properly raise children. Money cannot change this.
I am not Nostradamus, seer of the future, but I suspect that Nick Cannon will publicly enjoy great monetary success. Privately, however, he may experience growing alienation from his children. I’m not sure he has enough time or money to manage those parental responsibilities.
Subscribe to get early access to podcasts, events, and more!