When equality is used for revenge

By Matthew Delaney 

Our storybook version of equality makes us think there’s a parallel universe where everybody is treated the same in every circumstance. In reality, “equality” typically unfolds where some of us get the better shake in one instance, while others get the benefit of the doubt in others. 

We should aspire for the idealistic version. However, we can still accept our flawed nature means equality will often resemble a seesaw more than true fairness. 

Think of it like how a referee officiates a game. One team may get a bogus penalty that puts them at a disadvantage, but moments later, their opponent gets a penalty they didn’t deserve. It (usually) comes out in the wash, though we’d prefer the refs get the call right the first time around. 

Over the past 50-ish years, the dynamic that once had conservative beliefs, and its straight white male mascots, at the top of the food chain has been upended. Now, liberal beliefs have the greater say in society, along with their women, homosexual, and racial minority mascots. 

Our “new order” hasn’t shown us why this group deserves to run our culture. They seem to care more about the kind of eye-poking that’s done just to piss people off. It’s starting to feel vengeful — like the pendulum has finally swung in their direction, so it’s time for payback.  

Check out the latest taunt with the “Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey.” 

This was a real performer from the Mandinga Arts troupe. He visited an East London library to motivate young kids to read during summer. As you might have guessed, the guy was dressed as a monkey who had his actual ass and nipples exposed, and yes, a colored cock, hanging from him.  

I’m sure the library’s staff (who got a kick out of this whole schtick) only sought these people out because Mother Goose and Father Time reenactors were already booked.  

It’s another chapter in the saga of “Why is there so much aggressive sexuality in the gay community?” That’s why you’ve probably heard of drag queen story hours, and not, you know, stripper fairy godmother story hours. Or maybe you’ve checked in on the now-public debate among the Alphabet Alliance and the role of kink in Pride month celebrations. 

As someone who’s not gay and doesn’t have much interest in gay issues, I stay out of these discussions. However, I don’t think these help ‘grooming’ stereotypes romanticized by movies like “Call Me By Your Name.” They’re more often akin to the controversy YouTube star James Charles has found himself in.  

And while I do care about kids being exposed to schlong-wielding circus acts, I think it’s best to let the parents have those fights. A childless 20-something like myself isn’t the guy to wag my finger at whoever let this happen. 

What I will say is that when the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus releases distasteful videos, and then pass it off as “satire,” you know they’re feeling bold enough to openly express their contempt for families.  

The key part of the chorus goes like this: “’We’ll convert your children, happens bit by bit, quietly and subtly, and you will barely notice it. You can keep them from disco, warn about San Francisco, make ’em wear pleated pants, we don’t care, we’ll convert your children, we’ll make them tolerant and fair.” 

Ah yes, those final five words we need to hear to dispel any malicious intent. Only homophobic bigots would think that there was some plot to turn your kid gay from that very discernible satire. 

Shaming men for wanting to have sex with women is another way the revenge manifests itself.  

A man’s access to sex is as crucial as it is for me to shave my patchy “beard” every two weeks. That’s why the feminist industrial complex has portrayed men who clumsily seek to woo them into oppressive gnats. 

A 2019 article in the Guardian talks disparagingly about a couple of men who learned to attract women from a pickup artist. Yes, pickup artists can be sleazy. The “coach” in this article does come off as a bit ham-handed too, and the author makes a point to give the lowlights of other pickup artists around the globe. But nothing this artist teaches is controversial or offensive.  

Nevertheless, the author decreed that “…women do not want to be approached in this way by strangers on the street. Not when they are running errands, or chatting on the phone, or on their way home from work. We want men to leave us alone.”  

She uses the term “street harassment” rather than “awkward attempts at hitting on women” to drive home her point. Then, she shares how she’s suffered this harassment herself (making a real effort to understand our subjects here, I see). I’d expect her “definition” to hold if Chris Hemsworth is ever the one butting in on her call. 

Famed feminista Jessica Valenti — whose bonafides include marrying a man significantly younger than her and not taking his last name — seemed to capture this flip-flop perfectly.  

She wrote at length about her lifetime of trauma from men groping her breasts, asking for unwelcome hugs and even ejaculating on her while she was a teenager.  

Anyone can sympathize with a girl having such grotesque experiences, especially at such a young age. However, we’d take Valenti more seriously if she didn’t write an article a year earlier titled “Men Rarely Catcall Me Anymore. I Hate That Our Culture Makes Me Miss It.”  

The Victoria Secret “Karen” incident shows why race relations are also on the downslope.  

A white woman reportedly cut in front of a black woman during some Victoria Secret sale (meow) and even pushed her out of the way. As the black woman was firing up her camera, you can see this white chick charging at her and cocking her hand back to smack her.  

Once the white woman notices she’s being recorded, she becomes a babbling mess. She even starts lying on the ground and asks her to stop “recording my mental breakdown.” It gets pretty pathetic, to be honest. 

But it’s just as pathetic that we jump to recording people and trying to rally the internet hordes against them. This black woman has come out swimmingly from this moment where she was “treated like it was 1920” — she’s raised over $100,000 in “legal funds” — while the white woman was doxed. 

This will likely play out similarly to the Central Park “Karen” incident, when a woman threatened to call police and tell them an African-American man bothered her. The implication being they’d come to the scene hot, maybe even with guns drawn. 

Obviously, that woman is a piece of shit. However, we forget that this guy, who was upset about her dog being unleashed, told her that “If you’re going to do what you want, I’m going to do what I want, but you’re not going to like it,” and then tried to offer the dog a treat (a red flag for any dog owner). 

The Central Park incident made news in the wake of George Floyd’s death, so it wasn’t a shock that this woman lost her job in the fallout. The reason the Victoria Secret white chick had a “panic attack” is because she thought she’d lose her job as well.        

To recap — our twisted interpretation of equality means that families need the raunchiest kind of homosexuality thrown in their face, women need to stigmatize normal male behaviors in the most antagonistic way, and black people need to put the scarlet letter of racism on anyone who mistreats them.  

This version of “equality” is toxic because it’s completely lacking in forgiveness.  

It’s totally fair to take account of the failures of white male power. Slavery, Jim Crow, constrictive gender roles, and violent homophobia all come to mind.  

But we can still see the worth in the moral, ethical, and intellectual standards they mainstreamed. Namely, the preservation of the family, the value of Judeo-Christian teachings, and the scientific pursuit of truth. 

To do that, it will require letting go of the anger felt in these actions.  

You can rebuff men’s pickup attempts without vindictively painting them as harassers. Just like you can get justice for someone being ugly to you without ginning up an online mob. And you can let kids know being gay or lesbian or whatever is cool without sending in Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey to deliver that message. 

The equality we’ve worked so hard to achieve can’t become a slap fight where one side cashes in on the cultural seesaw tipping in their favor. It will, naturally, make people question why we should treat those who seem hell bent on ruining the lives of others with any kind of dignity.  

A little grace and understanding will save us all from the backlash that events like these will — or already have — created.