By Adam B. Coleman
If you asked some people what the dynamic is like between white and black Americans, you’ll get a variety of answers. Some may claim there’s an “oppressor and oppressed” dynamic between us. They may highlight examples of system racism which oozes through the pores of American society.
However, I’d like to highlight a different type of dynamic that some aren’t aware of or never actually considered, the parent and child social dynamic.
As a parent myself, I understand the urge to protect your child and shield them from potential harm. I’ve been in the position where I had to catch myself from making excuses for them because innately you want your child to appear flawless.
It’s difficult to look at your child and tell them “no” because you don’t want to reward bad behavior. It’s not easy to be a parent, but some parents choose the path of least resistance more for themselves than for the benefit of their child.
These parents never hold their child accountable for anything. More so, they think delusionally that their child’s both always right and always the victim. For them, anyone that criticizes your parenting style will get struck down with great vengeance and furious anger.
Your audacious claims when noticing the damage their child is creating will fall on deaf ears. That’s because these types of parents have selective hearing at which praise is the only audible sound that is absorbed. Everything else is rejected.
Even a well-intentioned parent can choose this parenting style, but they fail to realize why they make this choice. Most of them make this choice because they operate from a place of guilt or not wanting to act like their parents did. Unfortunately, their solution is to operate in the complete opposite manner rather than finding a balance in between.
The well-intentioned white liberal has chosen to rescue black Americans from our societal foster home. They do so while believing they must graciously allow us in their home, not just for protection from outsiders but to protect us from ourselves.
They claim to want to treat us just like their children. But if that were the case, how come their white children get reprimanded for bad behavior & we don’t?
As we spend year after year being coddled, we’ve lost the ability to recognize their claims of love for us as what they really are, pity.
We have functioning hands, but we can’t feed ourselves because our liberal parents want the satisfaction of feeding us. We have functioning legs, but they’d rather carry us on their backs to take credit for our travel. Every time we try to do for ourselves, they prevent us because they all hold nostalgia of the day when they rescued us.
In their eyes, black Americans will always be the people of forced servitude and victims of government oppression. They saw how their ancestral grandparents treated us and have decided to take responsibility for us. From their perspective, their lineage created our ghettos, and now they feel responsible to clean up our mess even if it’s to our own detriment.
It’s been decades since our adoption, and yet we’re merely unfortunate infants to them. We’ll always be that foster child with crust around the eyes, no matter how tall we become and how broad our shoulders get. We’ll always need their hand to lift ourselves up when our legs are among the mightiest.
When we mess up, our liberal parents will always be there to make excuses for us and take ownership of our own problems. When we terrorize each other, they’ll find a way to interject their guilt and point at their grandparents as being the root cause for our present-day suffering.
When we fail to live up to the standards of everyone else, they’ll encourage the lowering of expectations to ease our sensibilities. When there’s a gap between our success and everyone else’s, our liberal white parents may even encourage the dragging down of everyone else versus allowing us to fill in the gap ourselves.
The ultimate tragedy is that this black child who started with nothing believes they are nothing without their liberal white foster parents. They always feel they need the advocacy of someone else rather than realizing they have the power within themselves to make a change.
Although they’re grown now, they still pout when the government doesn’t help them every step along the way when that’s not the point of their existence. Clearly, the well-intentioned liberal white parents have taught them to be reliant instead of self-sufficient.
They’ve trained them to be takers instead of creators. They hold affinity for people that handicapped them for generations while making promises they can’t keep.
Their intentions were initially good in nature, but as time has progressed, they grew used to promoting the idea of black empowerment instead of manifesting it. The parents have become enamored with how good of a person they are by highlighting their deeds, much like someone that flaunts their rescued pet from the local animal shelter
As long as we remain their infants, we’ll always be influenced by their desire to ‘save us.’ Keep in mind, every time they ‘save us’, we remain infantile in our emotions and debilitated in our development.
Subscribe to get early access to podcasts, events, and more!
